So I was chatting with a colleague , and the subject of Mighty Mouse came up (as it does). And she honored me with a top-secret confession (that I, yes, choose to share with all of blogdom. But anonymously, so it’s not actually betraying a confidence):
Once upon a time, she had a crush on Mighty Mouse.
This struck me as mighty peculiar. But upon further consideration, I recalled once reading an essay about the hot girl cartoon characters the writer had lusted for as a boy (and still lusted for, if I recall rightly). And then I remembered that there was a very, very bad cartoon show when I was a kid, involving, like, the nephew of Dracula, and the son of Frankenstein (the monster, not the doctor. Hey, no one said cartoons had to be literarily accurate), and a Wolf-Boy, and some other teen boy monsters. And brother, I had it bad for that vampire. (It was part of a short-lived vampire obsession inspired by, or ending with, “Love at First Bite,” which my mother forbade me to watch.)
So, as one good confession deserves another, I told my colleague about my cartoon crush. But just to maintain my moral superiority, I also noted that at least vampires were human at some point. Whereas a fling with Mighty Mouse… well, I’m pretty sure that breaks laws in every state.
“Oh,” she said slowly. “Well, I’m pretty sure in my mind, I was like, Minnie Mouse.”
Hmmm… I’m not sure that makes it better. (Although--let's be frank--he does have very impressive pecs.)