I had intended to write an earnest writerly blog about the finishing of the first go on my finalfinalREALLYfinal draft of my MG fantasy novel, and my outstanding efforts this morning to scrawl intelligent notes to myself about what needs to be fixed in the next go.
But then I visited my Friends page, and now I have to write about that instead.
Many moons ago I added Geoffrey Chaucer Hath a Blog to my friends page because it is just about the most hilarious thing I’ve ever read. I mean, The Canterbury Tales certainly has its moments of hilarity, but nothing is as deliriously insane as writing about contemporary stuff (like Kalamazoo) in fake middle-olde-high Englisch. Or whatever you want to call it.
So the entry I was reading today linked to another entry of Chaucerian pick-up lines. Readers of my blog are aware that I feel strongly most guys need two major weapons—er, tools—er—whatever—to impress a girl.
1. An excellent aftershave.
(I feel so strongly about it, in fact, that I even blogged about it before. Hey, you can’t revisit a good topic too often. Plus, I think most guys need to hear/ read things more than once before they really get it. So here’s to round two.)
But now there are new weapons for the arsenal/ tools for the toolchest/ whatever!
My Fave Pick-Up Lines of the Chaucerian Variety
(You can read the rest of them here.)
-Do sheriffs administere thee to those who breke the kinges peace? Bycause thou lookst “fyne.”
-Yf thou were a latyn tretise ich wolde putte thee in the vernacular.
-The preeste telleth me that we aren more than VII degrees of consanguinitee. Game on!
-Ich notyce that myn demense and thyn do abutte. Wolde yt plese thee to consolidate ovre powere-base in the midlands?
-Thou lookst so mvch lyk an aungel that the friares haue lefte the roome yn terror!
-Makstow a pilgrymage heere often?
* Okay, they might actually work on seventeenth-century women. Contemporary guys, use with care!