February 20th, 2007

Blasphemy – Episode II

More true confessions.


I had no problem staying awake during “Episode I.” The acting was still mostly bad. And that kid is about the most irritating thing I’ve ever seen on my TV. (Except, maybe, for the actor who plays the more mature Anakin in Episode II. And Juliette Lewis. Oh, and Jar Jar Binks! Seriously, who came up with that?)


On the plus side, there was a lot of unintentional humor (mostly stemming from the bad acting). I was relieved to discover R2-D2 is an important character in this Star Wars pre-history—he’s my favorite Star Wars character. (He is observant. He is thoughtful. He does what needs to be done, no matter how much chicken C3PO tries to talk him out of it. And when he gets hurt, he makes a funny little scream, and I go, “Awww.” All that from a droid! Wow.) And I have a new catchphrase, perfect for those situations when I just can’t figure out what else to say:


“I sense a disturbance in The Force.”


(Think about it! There is virtually no situation in which this phrase will not be useful.)


So last night I snuggled up in my chair, prepared to enjoy the unintentional hilarity of “Episode II.”


There was a lot going for it. It started with an explosion, for pete’s sake. And then it immediately flowed into a chase through the night sky, which should have been exciting (but wasn’t). And there’s a love story, with obnoxious Anakin pursuing the bemused Senator. (Only—ewww!) And there’s a mystery! With Ewan McGregor hunting for the Senator’s would-be assassin. And there are clones! And a strange Australian man who provided the source material for them.


And I got less and less interested as the movie dragged on.


And then I fell asleep.


For a while I tried to pretend I wasn’t falling asleep. Every now and then I jerked my eyelids way up and caught a glimpse of Anakin yammering or Ewan McGregor talking to R4, the droid accompanying him on his hunt. Then my eyelids drifted quietly down and I pretended not to sleep again. And after a while, when I opened my eyes, I saw that the credits were rolling, and I didn’t have any idea what had happened.


Tonight: take two. Since I only have to watch about half the movie, it is extremely likely I’ll be able to stay awake all the way through it. (At least that’s what I keep telling myself.)   

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