October 9th, 2006


I’m thinking this is a hobby that only I choose to have, but I’ll go ahead and ask anyway:


Have you ever geared up for a fight? Like imagined how you would kick it off, speculated about your victim’s responses, plotted your own (brilliant) comebacks? I mean, have you ever just been in the mood for a good, thorough, adrenaline-rushing, air-clearing argument?


It’s kind of a downer that I’m asking this question on a Monday. I mean, the week has scarcely gotten underway! But I've actually been gearing up for a while. Then this morning when I diligently sat at my computer at 6 AM for a phone interview—after having already trekked down to my beloved Diedrich’s to pick up a large cappuccino—my interviewee wasn’t there.


Stood up at 6 AM on a Monday. That is a totally Garfield-worthy complaint.


To top it off, I’ve been having these interesting discussions about Fibromyalgia AWARE lately—discussions with people who actually have nothing to do with production of this fine magazine, but are very revved up about the deadlines, and the layouts, and just generally making me crazy.


Today it wasn’t so much a discussion as it was a meeting. A meeting in which I had to reiterate lo, the many reasons why fab layout guy Scott doesn’t have all the stories to lay out. Reasons Scott is more than familiar with. And yes, Scott was sitting right there, and probably could have listed all the reasons without my help.


There were no bright lights in my face, and I was totally free to move about—heck, I didn’t even sit down. But still, the whole thing made me think of those interrogation scenes you see in movies all the time. (Of course, if I hadn’t suffered through the truly execrable “Face/ Off” last night, maybe that image wouldn’t have been in my head. And now I’m wondering, what did I ever see in Nicolas Cage? Has he always been like that? And here I thought “The Wicker Man” was just a one-off. [“The Wicker Man” is, by the way, a work of total unintentional comedic genius. “Face/ Off” just sucked. In a loud, explodey sort of way.])


My officemate is in the same cranky boat. “I feel a storm brewing,” she said to me earlier.


“Inside or out?”


She grinned. “Inside.”


Unfortunately, I leave in less than an hour and I have a perfectly lovely afternoon planned. So I’m left with a tough decision: do I continue to wind myself up in hopes that an argumentative opportunity will present itself? Or do I just allow all my crankitude to slip away into the ether? It seems like such a waste!


Input, anybody? (Don’t worry—if you send a suggestion, you’re not exposing yourself to my argumentative mood. It’s shockingly inefficient to argue via email.)